This, of course, is just an excuse to shoot everyone, ever, dead. The story is total guff: some noise about crusading politicians who need mercenary help to fight the cartels of Mexico. Objectively speaking, most of the game is pretty terrible. Despite all of its flaws, Army of Two is one of the most enjoyable shooter experiences I’ve had in a while, because it’s so stupid, yet somehow works as an effective critique of modern shooters. Which means, and this is incredible, that EA has created something this on the money b y mistake. The references to video game clichés are lampshades to throw players off the fact that they’re too creatively bankrupt to think of anything else other than red barrels or telegraphed plotting. Then, roughly 10 hours of shameless (s)laughter later, I realised it probably wasn’t a joke. Big Boi from Outkast is in it, for no apparent reason save ‘video games’. Ha ha ha, I get it, driving sections are rubbish. Enemies run into the path of your car, and when they do, again their limbs just fly off in different directions. An obligatory driving level makes an appearance. There are meta references by both characters about the nature of video games and how they operate.

It has everything: bland levels, stupid dialogue, over-the-top kill animations, poorly-implemented online co-op, zero-dimensional characters, which are called – no shit, Alpha and Bravo. And then everything, EVERYTHING, they shoot explodes and everyone’s limbs blow off in a shower of gore.Ĭlearly they must be dead, I thought, and what follows must then be the dying revenge fantasy of the leads, with the developers using that framework as a big joke at the endless violence/total nonsense on display in video games including, of course, the last two Army of Two games. As they fight, endlessly, through a repetitive collection of dull brown tunnels, dull brown markets, and dull brown enemy strongholds, they sometimes become invincible, and their guns get infinite ammo, for reasons never explained.

They do this by killing more people than every single armed human conflict combined. The game then flashes back to our heroes as they’re trained up to be ruthless, ass-kicking mercenaries, bent on taking on the cartel that set them up. At the start the two main characters are hit by an RPG ambush in Mexico. About two hours into Army of Fistbump 3, I developed a theory about the game.

Army of two the devil's cartel cheats